The Jem'Hadar

Originally Appeared Here
Headin' through the wormhole to survey like Richard Dawson(1)
For a routine mission, shoulda exercised some caution-
Dad's readings of life signs turn out to be specious
When the camp is broken up by some chick's telekinesis
The three of them are captured by the Jem'hadar
Who know all about 'em, they've been watching from afar.
Back on the station, they rally 'round the Odyssey
But Captain Keogh's arrogant, got no time for modesty
The ships show up and carry out the rescue
They beat a retreat when an enemy gets through
Their defenses for a kamikaze run
Forget the Captain 'cause he's done
Quark confronts my pop, tells him the captive's shackle was a fake
And then that's where we stop, you'll have to wait 'til Fall to hear from Jake.

1. Original host of the game show Family Feud, where contestants are quizzed on survey results.

Crossover

Originally Appeared Here

You know I flow like a river, just like the Rio Grande(1)
Coming back through the wormhole, but it doesn't go as planned.
Kira and Bashir cross over to an alternate reality
Of dubious morality, Terrans treated with brutality
And the Intendant's the one who cows them all to submission
So in love with herself this must've been her lifelong ambition(2)
As she explains to herself what the Terrans did to the Bajorans
Pushed her over the edge, like the Borg with Dr. Soran(3)
Not like Soren's not sure if she's a boy or a girl(4)
But like Soran become Death, the destroyer of worlds(5)
And baby, I got verses like arms on Shiva(6)
Got jams so def that the people call me Riva(7)

Maybe he could come to the station for a little mediation
'Cause all the different players have their own motivation 
Garak expresses to the Major that he's got his own agenda
Make a swap at the top like The Prisoner of Zenda(8)
But while they're convening in Quarks for a night of entertainment
There's a diversion in the mines, busted thorium containment
No one wastes a second to make the most of the distraction
Attack back at the Alliance, humans springing into action.
Infecting humans with hope, the Doctor's caused an epidemic
Odo tries to stop him, gets his head blown up like Remmick(9)
Gotta make a run through the wormhole, even if it's hazardous
Or else they're lost forever, just like asking "What of Lazarus?"(10)

1. All the runabouts on Deep Space Nine are named after Earth rivers.
2. From The Undiscovered Country, after Kirk is incredulous that he kissed the shapeshifter which has now assumed his form.
3. Villain of Star Trek: Generations, who claims to he wouldn't have hurt a fly before the Borg killed his entire family.
4. From TNG's "The Outcast", about androgynous J'naii. Also a reference to David Bowie's "Rebel, Rebel".
5. Line from the Bhagavad Gita, famously quoted by Robert Oppenheimer on the occasion of the first atomic bomb test.
6. Multi-armed Hindu deity, serving as the Destroyer or Transformer among the Trimurti.
7. Deaf mediator from TNG's "Loud as a Whisper"
8. Classic adventure novel, where a monarch is replaced by an identical tourist, to avoid revealing the true king has been kidnapped.
9. Starfleet commander who served as a host for the alien insect queen in "Conspiracy", and suffered perhaps the goriest death in Star Trek history.
10. From the closing of TOS's "The Alternative Factor", where a scientist Lazarus and his insane alternate universe double are left locked in an eternal struggle.

Blood Oath

Originally Appeared Here

You know we got Kang, we got Koloth and Kor

Three bad-ass Klingons and they're headed to war

Kor's starting a ruckus and spends the night in jail

Koloth shows up in the office to pay his buddy's bail

Pops out of thin air and his appearance is brutal

Got a stache like Fu Manchu(1) and a haircut like a poodle

Looks with derision on the drunk in the prison

Won't even listen when Jadzia wants to got with 'em

That's right, we got Kor, we got Koloth, and Kang

Don't want this sexy new Dax to join in their gang

On their quest for vengenace to kill the albino,

She's in better shape than all of them, but what the hell do I know?

But they see her swing a bat'leth and it starts to give them pause

They think the new host could still bring honor to their cause

To fight a child-killer who used a virus and genetics

Instead of fight them man to man, he's really that pathetic

So now it's Kang and Kor and Koloth and Dax

In orbit of the planet when Kang spills the facts

It wasn't a plan for battle, it was a plan for suicide.

Klingons are the ones in the Kobayashi Maru(2) this time.

Koloth tells him this trap is what you get when you deal with the devil

Should never have believed this guy would play on the level

They can trust him to fight fair 'cause he's always been a coward

But now they're bustin' in his lair and his guns have been de-powered

Kick down his door, "Look upon your executioners!"

They're about to rip your heart out and send you straight to Lucifer

Or the gates of Gre'thor and the face of Fek'lhr(3)

Not Three Musketeers, but three masters of Dahar.

1. A style of mustache extending below the lips and on either side of the chin.
2. Starfleet Academy simulation exercise involving a rescue on the Klingon-Federation border, famous for being impossible to win.
3. Klingon equivalent of Hell, and the monster who guards its entrance, respectively.

Paradise

Originally Appeared Here
Back with feats of linguistic legerdemain, and a degree of intrepidity(1)
The beat sticks in your brain and the words have a fluidity
While I fire off lyrical missiles as limitless as Voyager's torpedos(2)
Pop copes with disproportionate punishments like the Justice of the Edo(3)
Like when Alixus sticks him in the box like he was Alec Guiness(4)
Just because O'Brien had tried to hail their pinnace(5)
So he could the medicine and the sick girl could be healed,
Only to be stymied by the duonetic field.
Which wasn't from astatine, Alixus makes no apology
She crashed here on purpose to get away from technology
But Miles outwits her and rescues my dad,
'Cause homeboy's got skills that he never knew he had.

1. Quote from Spock in The Undiscovered Country when Uhura attempts to bluff her way past the Klingon border patrol.
2. Despite being stranded in the Delta Quadrant with only 38 photon torpedoes in the pilot episode, the U.S.S. Voyager never appeared to run low on armaments.
3. From TNG's "Justice", where even minor infractions are met with the death penalty if they occur inside of a designated "punishment zone".
4. In The Bridge On the River Kwai, Alec Guiness's character is punished in much the same manner as Commander Sisko.
5. A small vessel used as a tender, in this case referring to the runabout.

Necessary Evil

Originally Appeared Here
My lyrics are sublime as I'm laying down some rhymes
While Odo's in his office investigating crimes
He's asked to keep a record, voice over like Deckard(1)
Next thing he's reflecting on a past that's checkered
When a chemist got shot, and he was asked by Dukat
To suss out some suspects, make sure the killer is caught
The wife of the deceased point the blame at Nerys
Her alibi is espionage, but Odo grants her release
But now he realizes he reached the wrong conclusion
And the chemist was robbed 'cause of Cardassian collusion
It's the only rational reason she could still get her tea
When it was rarer than a red shirt in the A.A.R.P.(2)
He sees why in this instance the Gul kept his distance
Or else the resistance would kill his assistants
Back in the present, he's hurt by this news
Looks at the Major like his trust's been abused
And he finds all this time she was rightfully accused.

1. Harrison Ford's character from Blade Runner, who provided disinterested narration in the theatrical version of the film.
2. American Association of Retired Persons, which most red shirts do not live long enough to enter.

Cardassians

Originally Appeared Here
Hangin out with Nog, and we're drinkin' gin and tonics
With some honeys in the holosuite, too bad they're all photonic.
While Garak's lunch is interrupted by a boy who takes a bite
Gul Dukat suddenly rings them up, to say he'll set things right
Garak gets Bashir because doesn't trust coincidence
Waking up my dad, the doctor shocks him with his impudence
They've figured out his parentage and now they must be leavin'
So they're jettin' to the orphanage, some files need retrievin'
Like Marritza(1)'s system, it's a masterpiece of meticulous exactitude
But the list of them, it has to be ridiculous in magnitude
Sifting through the data and the truth begins to dawn
Dukat kidnapped the boy to later use him as a pawn
But he's made an enemy he can't defeat like Moriarty and Pulaski(2)
Garak's thought more moves ahead than Bobby Fisher did with Spassky(3)
The kid is sent back with his father, reunited eight years older
While Garak tells the doctor truth's just in the eye of the beholder.

1. File clerk from DS9's "Duet", who described his filing system with those words.
2. From TNG's "Elementary, Dear Data", where Dr. Pulaski created a formidable artificial intelligence by simply asking the computer to do so.
3. Competitors in the 1972 World Chess Championship in which Fischer was victorious

The Siege

Originally Appeared Here

Now we're back for part three, Under Siege like Seagal(1)

At the behest of Jaro Essa and his shadowy cabal

They're marching on the city, gonna try a coup d'etat

Seize the power on the planet from the Kai to the Sirah(2)

So Kira and Dax bring the evidence to the ministers

Make 'em hear the facts, Cardies up to something sinister

Next thing they're flying by the seat of her pants

Have to keep trying even if they don't stand a chance.

While Li and Sisko use guerilla war tricks

Bashir setting traps down in Cargo Bay Six

Sisko worries Li's just trying to get killed

Only used to fighting, no use to help rebuild

This hero's just a man, guess he's kinda like Cochrane(3) 

But people need a leader to coordinate like Spock's Brain(4)

The commander reaches out to make peace with the general

BUt soon they find their victory's fleeting and ephemeral

The colonel's got a gun before they turn to look

And then just like this verse, Nalas is off the hook.

1. Stephen Seagal, star of Under Siege and many direct to video action films.
2. Ceremonial leader from DS9's "The Storyteller".
3. Warp drive pioneer and hero of the Federation, who claimed he never wanted to be a statue.
4. Infamous TOS episode where aliens steal Spock's brain and use it to run their society.

The Circle

Originally Appeared Here
Lyrics like fire, take you out in a minute, boy
'Cause your rhymes are just warm wind blowin' in from Minicoy(1)
Quark's doing to what he can to earn the constable's trust
Catch Kressari running guns, help Odo make a bust.
Why don't you be my deputy, whatcha say, Quark?
Odo needs an ally while he's breaking in the Navarch
The Ferengi wants incentive that's a little more monetary
While Kira's sweatin', settin' stones at the monastery
She's not used to being useless, rather die with her boots on
Just then Winn butts in sportin' a hat by Jorn Utzon(2)
Talks all high and holy and on the straight and narrow
But she's secretly in league with the Circle's center, Jaro
Kira's kidnapped by the masked men right in the arboretum,
Quark locates their hide out so the rescue team can beat 'em 
They're all back on the station to prepare a last stand
Starfleet orders evacuation, but Sisko's got a plan.

1. Island Home of an ambassador Commander Sisko knew, who was full of hot air.
2. Architecht of the Sydney Opera House, which Winn's hat resembles.

The Homecoming

Originally Appeared Here
I got synonyms like Data(1), metaphors like a Tamarian(2),
A simile assimilator with more game than a Ktarian(3).
Within one man, I'm a whole Federation
Who can wreck an MC with no hesitation
But sometimes I make peace just to sow some confusion(4)
Sometimes I like the holosuite though it's all an illusion
It all starts out when Kira sees an earring
So she borrows the Chief away from engineering
And she's off to rescue any prisoners that remain 
Bluffin' past the border, Rulot seeds al a Gul Marayn(5)
She brings Li Nalas back to the station,
But you're gonna have to wait for the continuation.

1. Data had a habit of rattling off long lists of synonyms in the dark, early days of TNG
2. Alien race from Darmok who spoke entirely in metaphors
3. Alien race from TNG's The Game
4. The 76th Rule of Acquisition: "Every once in a while declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies."
5. A reference to the "allamaraine" rhyme from Move Along Home