Tuesday, April 30, 2013


Originally Appeared Here

Dad's working on a mystery when he gets an ancient painting
While Quark suggests some programs that would be more entertaining
Works out a reconstruction, like knees connected to a shin bone
Demanding answers from the obelisk like a Paradise Syndrome(1)
'Cause it contains the information of where they placed B'hala
Scrutinizing symbols like Kara Thrace with a mandala(2)
A surge shocks his synpases and affected his sight
And now it's like he never saw the sun shining so bright(3)
Uncovers the lost city, and he never felt so focused
Takes a turn for the worse- he prophesies a plague of locusts

"They'll come to do harm, and they'll come from the stars
They'll eat up your farms like the man from Mars
Then they'll go back up to space
To go off and hassle the Cardassian race"(4)

He can see it all stretched before him, hope it won't end the same way
As crossing the threshold and getting eft up like Janeway(5)
Walkin' with the prophets, side by side with Jeremiah(6)
I feel like all of this has happened before with Onaya(7)
When she was burning out my brain and I was in denial
Winn will ride him into the ground- remember Vedek Bariel(8)
They ask my advice, I have to think twice
I get to keep my dad, they keep the champagne on ice

  1. In TOS's "The Paradise Syndrome", the Native American society is protected by a deflector shield controlled through an obelisk on the planet's surface. Kirk must figure out how to use it to save the people.
  2. From Battlestar Galactica, the Eye of Jupiter was a symbol in a temple that appeared in the thoughts of Lt. Kara Thrace and helped guide the surviving humans to Earth.
  3. From Irving Berlin's "Blue Skies", sung by Data in Star Trek: Nemesis
  4. References the rap verse of Blondie's "Rapture", about a man from Mars eating cars, bars and guitars. Near the end, Debbie Harry raps, "And now he's gone back up to space where he won't have to hassle with the human race"
  5. From Voyager's "Threshold", after breaking the Warp 10 barrier, Tom Paris sees all of the universe at once and has a revelatory moment akin to Captain Sisko in "Rapture". He later takes Captain Janeway in the Warp 10 shuttle, where they evolve into newt-like creatures. An eft is a baby newt.
  6. Old Testament prophet.
  7. Refers to "The Muse" where Onaya stimulates Jake's creativity, but at the price of overloading his brain.
  8. Refers to the events of "Life Support", where Kai Winn pushes Vedek Bariel to complete the negotiations even as his health is failing.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Things Past

Originally Appeared Here

The way that Odo's lauded by Bajorans is impressive
But there's a secret in his past like the Enarans and regressives(1)
Cast his memory back to things past, and his predecessor Thrax
Now they're cleaning tables for Quark while Dukat talks to Dax
Calls 'em misbehaving children, setting off a bomb with a bang
Just one more paternal ruler in the line of Ramkhamhaeng(2)
Dad winds up in prison, but Dax has found the key to freedom
Askin' whether y'all don't know a jailbreak when you see one?(3)
Then they make a break and evade the station's armed guards
Only to awake back at the start like Peyton Farquhar(4)
They all turn to the constable and demand an explanation
'Cause at this point he should run security on the station
Truth will set you free unless your name is Simon Tarses(5)
But there's no strength from the sharing(6) or an iota of catharsis.
Doc says morphogenic enzymes, man, they must be the way
They could see inside his mind like he was Captain Boday(7)
Kira can't believe he'd just wash his hands like the Pilate(8)
Quickly close the case, just so he can stamp and file it
Let Cardassians make a mockery of justice like the Bluths(9)
Now he knows the First Duty(10) ain't to order, but the truth

  1. From the Voyager episode "Remember", where the Enarans exterminated the Regressive minority and tried to cover it up.
  2. Pho Khun Ram Khamhaeng ruled in what is now Thailand from 1278 to 1298. He introduced the concept of paternal rule when he ascended to the throne.
  3. In Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, Scotty springs Kirk, Spock and McCoy, and greets them with this line.
  4. From Ambrose Bierce's short story, An Occurrence At Owl Creek Bridge. A man believes he has escaped from his execution and returned to his family, only for it to be revealed these are his final thoughts in the moments before his hanging.
  5. From TNG's "The Drumhead", Tarses is a young medical technician whose Romulan heritage is  uncovered in an unrelated inquiry and threatens to end his career.
  6. Again from Star Trek V, Sybok invites a man to share his pain and gain strength from the sharing.
  7. Frequently mentioned Gallamite captain with a transparent skull.
  8. Refers to Pontius Pilate, the Roman prefect who authorized the execution of Jesus despite his own doubts about Jesus's guilt.
  9. In the Arrested Development episode "Fakin' It", the Bluth family participates in a mock trial for patriarch George Sr.
  10. From TNG's "The First Duty", Picard reminds Wesley that the first duty of every Starfleet officer is to the truth.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Trials and Tribble-ations

Originally Appeared Here

Picking up a strange passenger on a trip to Cardassia Prime
Sends them on an adventure when he activates the Orb of Time
Carried by chronitons, they quickly recover their cloak
See the Enterprise brought by Baris, thinking Priority One Is a Joke
'Cause He's acting on Fear of a Planet of Klingons(1)
A foothold in his sector and everything it would bring on
So paranoid he's afraid to even let Cyrano sell gems
Out here near the border, they're already close enough to smell them(2)
Maybe catch a whiff of lilac, or something earthy and peaty
While they compete for Sherman's Planet under the Organian Treaty(3)

Turns out Barry Waddle was an old Klingon agent
Harboring resentment from grievances ancient
Disowned by his empire, no acknowledgement written or verbal
Left in human form, worse than being cursed, Oh, to be a Blobel(4)
Traveled in his life to set wrong what once went right(5)
But my dad and his crew won't let it go without a fight
Me, I would've panicked if I had to put on a red shirt
And I hate temporal mechanics(6), it all makes my head hurt
Like inventing transparent aluminum just to hold some cetaceans(7)
Or meeting your own ancestor in a bit of predestination
O'Brien rolls his eyes, Bashir says he'll wish they had trysted
When the chief comes back to the present to find he never existed

Rendezvous with Worf and Odo in the bar on the station
While waitress wishes Klingons from a different generation
Would stop requesting raktajino 'cause she ain't ever heard of it
Korax compares humans to blood worms and other invertebrates
Calls out Captain Kirk as a Denebian slime devil
Thinking "Maybe Starfleet's top engineer will climb down to my level"
But Scotty don't care 'til his ship's reputation is tarnished
And he's told the whole thing should be hauled off as garbage
This kind of incident was against all Kirk's orders
Until they tell him the instigator, they're confined to their quarters
Just when the living legend can't approach any closer
O'Brien has to lie to his face and say "I don't know, sir"

But the situation grows urgent when new information is emergent
Explosives among the goods from an interstellar merchant
No calming effect, like the peace of mind you get from a swibble(8)
When there's a bomb, and you gotta check every last tribble
Their population's expanding according to an exponential law
Growing faster than the grains of rice at Ambalappuzha(9)
The find it in a storage bin where it's been gorging on the grain
Beaming into space in this case ain't inhumane(10)
Just one last item of business, not many times to meet a legend
At an important juncture in history like you were named Gary Seven(11)
But even humorless agents who can't seem to have a laugh
Admit they understand when dad went back for an autograph.

  1. Refers to the Public Enemy song "911 is a Joke" on the album Fear of a Black Planet.
  2. Quote from Chekov in the original episode
  3. The terms under which Sherman's Planet is being developed were a result of the treaty which emerged from the episode "Errand of Mercy".
  4. A reference to the Philip K. Dick story, "Oh, to be a Blobel", about a human who spends part of his days as an alien Blobel as a result of his time as a spy.
  5. A reversal of the introduction to the show Quantum Leap, where Sam Beckett must "Put right what once went wrong".
  6. A reference to the episode "Visionary", when Chief O'Brien has a confusing discussion with a temporally displaced version of himself.
  7. In Star Trek IV, Scotty gives a man in the 20th century information on how to make transparent aluminum to build a whale tank. McCoy suggests he'll disrupt the timeline, and Scotty suggests the man may be the inventor.
  8. From another Philip Dick story, "Service Call", swibbles are an artificially-evolved organism that subtly adjust people's minds to ensure they remain at peace with each other.
  9. The legend concerning the Ambalappuzha Sri Krishna temple holds that the god Krishna, in the form of a sage, defeated the king in a game of chess. As a prize, he requested a grain of rice on one square of the chess board, and twice as many on the next square, and so on for every square of the board.
  10. In the original episode, Kirk asks how Scotty has rid the ship of Tribbles, and is briefly concerned Scotty has beamed them into space. Scotty says this would be inhuman.
  11. In "Assignment: Earth", the agent Gary Seven is sent to avert a nuclear holocaust on Earth.