The House of Quark

Originally Appeared Here

Sorry 'bout last week, didn't mean to procrastinate
But y'all understand that sometimes rappin' has to wait
'Cause dad took his officers, and even roped in Odo
Left me behind to run this 'hood like I was Robert DeSoto(1)
Now they come back through the wormhole with news of the Founders
Everyone feels unsafe and the businesses all flounder
Quark's clientele picks up when he tells a tall tale
That's all exaggeration, like Li Nalas and Zarael(2)
He's taken by Grilka and Tumek(3)- I think I met that guy before-
To come with them to Qo'noS and help them beat D'Ghor
Quark uncovers the brother's scheme, it's one without honor
D'Ghor responds with a challenge, and Quark's sure he's a goner.
But when he'd kill an unarmed coward, Gowron is shocked
D'Ghor's cast out of the Council as a dishonorable petaQ(4)
Quark's counting latinum in the bar, back to his old habits
Recounts the story for Rom just like Lenny and the rabbits(5).

1. Captain of the Hood, and former commanding officer of Will Riker
2. Bajoran resistance leader Li Nalas's reputation grew based on the story of him defeating Gul Zarale in hand-to-hand combat. Nalas later confessed he simply shot the unarmed Zarale in his underwear.
3. A reference to Jake's previous rap battle against Tumak.
4. Klingon curse word
5. The character Lennie in Of Mice and Men is sustained by his friend George's stories of a future where  he lives off the fat of the land and tends rabbits.