Rap Battle: Round Two-One

Originally Appeared Here
Chump had a week to prepare, ain't got nothing to show?
Man you got less toys than Kivas Fajo(1)
Rollin' in the Rio Grande(2) you better let Nog drive
because if you ride like you rhyme you won't get out alive

Speakin of Big Ears(3), he's the Kenan to your Kel(4)
You started out together but he's the one on SNL
He got the keys to the Defiant(5), and you had to take a hike
and now you rollin' slower than Captain Pike(6)

and you doubt my prowess? I'm the original stud
Rachel Garett, Janice Rand, even Ashley Judd(7)
All the ladies dig my moves, ain't got no time for solace
got more face-time here than Darien Wallace(8)

and to all the haters who think we're one in the same
You're like Chubb Rock, Insane in the Brain(9)
This buster's just a copy, the Enemy Within(10)
Gonna vanish faster than Tubby George Primmin(11)

and where will you go? I'll give you a clue
thumb a ride from your pops down to Qualor II(12)
for the has-been crowd, it's the favorite port of call
So better bone up your chops on 'Melor Famagal'(13)

1. A Zibalian trader, who in fact has the most toys, implying everyone must have less toys than him,
2. Runabout docked at DS9
3. Tumak's nickname for Nog, used in the episode
4. Former teen comedy show starring the eponymous duo.
5. Nog later entered Starfleet and became the helmsman of the Defiant.
6. Captain of the Enterprise before Kirk, confined to a wheelchair after a training accident
7. Captain of the Enterprise-C, yeoman on the original Enterprise, and the actress who played Wesley Crusher's girlfriend Robin Lefler, respectively
8. Enterprise-D officer who appeared in over sixty episodes but only had one line.
9. Rapper Chubb Rock was the target of Cypress Hill's diss track "Insane in the Brain"
10. Original Series episode where Captain Kirk is duplicated (in good and evil versions) by a transporter accident.
11. Security officer temporarily assigned to DS9. His character was inserted largely because Colm Meaney, who portrayed O'Brien, was unavailable for some episodes.
12. Planet orbited by a Salvage yard visited by the Enterprise-D while investigating the debris of the T'Pau in the episode "Unification"
13. Favorite musical composition of a Ferengi trader who visited that same salvage yard.