Rap Battle: Round One-Three

Originally Appeared Here
I see Rap Battle Protocol ain't neccessary
for the two-baggin son of the Emissary(1)
but I don't need Onaya(2) strokin' my head
to lay down the rhymes and knock you dead

I'm slick like Armus(3) so you made a mistake
if you get in my grill and call me a flake
You're the FAAAKE(4) and I'm the new deal
That'll even make your pops say that IT'S REAAL(5)

If I'm breakfast for Picard than your moms was lunch
Deep fried at Wolf for a satisfying crunch(6)
Probably for the best she didn't get assimilated
because after leaving my crib she probably wouldn't have waited

to hang with your dad, wait, wasn't he fired?
Couldn't make it last after Spenser: For Hire(7)
had to hang with his manpiece alone in a sock
leaves him plenty of time to make A CLOCK(8)

but what of you, like father like son?
like your novel Anselm you just couldn't get it done(9)
the ladies of the Promonade are missing their Whoa
need a new MC to make 'em say "Dabo!"

1. The first epsiode established Jake's father as the Emissary, a spiritual leader of the Bajoran people
2. Non-corporeal alien that fed off of Jake's creative energies in The Muse
3. An alien entity resembling an oil slick that killed Tasha Yar
4. Line famously uttered by Senator Vreenak upon uncovering the elder Sisko's deception in the episode "In the Pale Moonlight".
5. Benny Russel's repeated claim about his science fiction story (about DS9) from the episode Far Beyond the Stars
6. The pilot episode included a flashback to Jake's mother's death at the Battle of Wolf 359
7. Avery Brooks' television series before Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
8. The object of Commander Sisko's obsession when possessed by an alien energy sphere in "Dramatis Personae"
9. Jake Sisko's debut novel, shown completed in the alternate timeline of "The Visitor"