Monday, July 30, 2012

Rap Battle: Round One-Two

Originally Appeared Here
Fool, I'm cutting up rappers like Garak with textiles(1).
I'm on my home turf, don't waste time with you exiles.
Ask your sister or your lover, I'm the one they all want,
Rhymes as rich as butter when you're flakin' out like a croissant(2)
On the table of Captain Picard, having Something for Breakfast(3)
I get up in your grill and tick you off like a checklist.
Ain't you ever ask yourself why your people were displaced?
It's because no one in the galaxy can stand to see your face.
You're covered with more pimples than Wesley Crusher's ass,
Cry to mama when you see yourself in a glass
Or a scanner, darkly(4).
Why you think your holographic girlfriend is two-timin' with Barclay(5)?

  1. Elim Garak works as a tailor on Deep Space Nine.
  2. T'Rogorans are known for leaving flakes of skin wherever they go.
  3. Title of a play written by Beverly Crusher on TNG, may or may not be about a red-haired doctor and a bald French captain who frequently share breakfast.
  4. Novel by Philip K. Dick, titled in reference to a phrase from 1 Corinthians 13:12 - "For now we see through a glass, darkly."
  5. Enterprise-D crew member who was addicted to the holodeck in the episode "Hollow Pursuits".

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