Family Business

Originally Appeared Here

When I come back to the quarters and smell the paprika
I know dad's in a good mood and that's when I say eureka
'Cause I know he's a catch but he hasn't had many dates
So I maybe I can hook him up with Captain Kasidy Yates
While Quark gets hit like a stun from a phaser
When his bar receives a visit from Brunt the appraiser
And says his mom's been dealing beetles like Monopoly properties
But a female making profit goes against their popular hypotheses
She won't back down and she stands in defiance
Says they need a new society in the Ferengi Alliance
She thinks the way they get offended by ladies who speak
Stinks like a second-hand stillsuit from Paul Atreides' Boutique(1)
Rom gets his mom to relent, but after Quark leaves,
She admits she put on a shirt so she could hide some up her sleeves
Meantime I'm making matches like Metrons with the Gorn and Kirk(2)
Call me crazy, but I think it might work
when he and Kasidy catch the ball game over on Cestus III(3)
I gotta say it looks like a success to me.

1. A reference to both Paul Atreides of the Dune series, and the Beastie Boys' 1989 album Paul's Boutique.
2. Aliens who forced Kirk and the Gorn captain together to settle their differences in the episode "Arena"
3. Federation colony where Kasidy's brother plays baseball, attacked by the Gorn in the aforementioned episode "Arena".