The Sword of Kahless

Originally Appeared Here

In Quark's, Kor is holding court and giving a recital
How he marked victory over T'Nag by making vittles of his vitals
Worf's too ashamed to greet him since his house lost their titles
And Just like MC Hammer(1), you know we can't touch our idols
'Cause they tell me the gilding, it sticks to our digits(2)
Son, you know I flow like Flaubert(3) when your rhyming is rigid

Kor calls him a traitor, a pariah, and the lowest of the low
But think how grateful their messiah will be with them when they go
Retrieve the sword that had been stolen by the Hur'q
Glory's their reward and it's time to go to work
But once they find the weapon, they get ambushed by Toral
Pursued a feud like the Clantons at the ol' O.K. Corral(4)
Kor springs into action, swinging and slaying with the bat'leth
First man in a millenia it kills sees the honor in that death
Kor learns Worf could've killed Toral before, says curse him and curse me
Worf may have compromised their errand with an error of mercy(5)
But now that the interlopers get left in the dust,
It's only the three of them and they start to lose trust
Both men want to be emperor, Ring of Power couldn't weigh less(6)
A couple D'bloks acting like they forgot about Kahless(7)
Kor trips on the path, almost goes down like Elsa Schneider(8)
Dax doesn't trust either, sleeps and keeps the sword beside her
They make it to safety, they completed their quest
But to leave the sword out in space they agree's for the best.

1. Rapper famous for the hit "U Can't Touch This"
2. From Madame Bovary, "We must not touch our idols; the gilt sticks to our fingers"
3. Gustave Flaubert, author of the aforementioned novel.
4. A gang led by Ike Clanton fought Wyatt Earp in the gunfight at the O.K. Corral. The crew of the Enterprise was forced to reenact these events in "Spectre of the Gun"
5. Kor's first appearance was in TOS's "Errand of Mercy"
6. From J.R.R. Tolkein's The Lord of the Rings
7. A reference to "Forgot About Dre" and the epithet Kahless the Unforgettable
8. From Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, when Elsa Schneider falls down a chasm trying to retrieve the Holy Grail